Blog of Ill Repute

Tyler as Lil Kim during karaoke:

"When it come to sex don't test my skills
Cause my head game have you head over heels"

From Magic Stick by 50 Cent & Lil Kim

NEW HOLD STEADY SINGLE!!!!!!!!
Link

In barlight, she looked alright
In daylight, she looked desperate.
That's alright I was desperate too,
I'm getting pretty sick of this interview.
Subpoenaed in Texas
Sequestered in Memphis

Also, they are in concert Monday, July 21 in Madison. The following Tuesday is going to be a long day at work.


NEW SYCAMORE SONKS!
Another link

There was a mouse on the loose at work today. It made for lots of roffles, mostly because the ladies were really frightened.

He was a true fighter. Programmers and business analysts tracked him for over 3 hours before he meet his demise. He was moving westward throughout the building in the morning. At about 9:15, he withstood a pretty decent broom shot, but he kept going. Unfortunately, he only made it 4 rows after he was discovered. RIP little buddy.

Let's count down the top 5 most talked about moments from the building I work at over the past year.

1. Vegetarian day from the catering company
2. The mouse
3. Hail storm last summer
4. Fruit fly infestation and resulting extermination
5. Day the coffee machine broke

On Saturday, we found a bar in town that has bubble hockey. I was REALLY excited when I first saw it. Then I was disapointed when the bar was really crowded and we couldn't play. However, we waited it out by doing shots of Sparks and playing darts. Once it finally opened up, I pwn3d Raider a couple times. This is going to severely hurt my quarter supply.

Good Burger is the most underrated movie of all-time.

I love dunking and this one takes the cake (ugh):

Pimp C Died from Overdose

Stay off that Sizzurp kids.

MD 20/20 Orange Jubilee*: 5.0/5.0
MD 20/20 Blue Raspberry*: 2.5/5.0
Jaguar High Gravity Lager**: -2.0/5.0
Four Maxed (10% alcohol by volume energy drink) 3.5/5.0
CB4 (movie): 3.5/5.0
A Night in Compton (movie)***: Jaguar High Gravity Lager of movies

* Best when served cold
** Camo if it was made in Wisconsin and served in a smaller can
*** Best Line: It's like when Harriet Truman led the slaves out of freedom

The new Wu-Tang album came out today. I'm pretty disappointed. I have to agree with Ghostface and Raekwon when they said that RZA's beats are soft. It doesn't sound like a Wu-Tang album. They only use 3 samples on the whole thing. RZA seems to be into live instrumentation now, which is cool, but it misses the grimy sounds of a dusty sample.

The best Wu-Tang related song that I heard for the first time today:



I can't believe I like a song with Akon in it.

I saw the Hold Steady in Minneapolis on Thursday and I think they may have surpassed the Wu-Tang Clan as my favorite group.
( Read more... )

New Hold Steady song:



4 days until the Minneapolis show.

On Saturday, we had dinner a Maggiano's in Milwaukee. It's an italian chain known for their large pasta portions. We spent the day at Six Flags (Great America, Great Times), so I was pretty hungry by the time my Linguine and Clams came out around 9:30. The bowl was big, but I finished the whole thing. After finishing it, the waitress came out, stood by the table, and looked at me in silence for a few seconds. Then she asked "Did you eat all that?" After replying that I did, she gave me a high five and said that I'm the first person that she's seen this year to finish a full order of pasta. I've been debating whether this have been one of the saddest or awesomest moments of my life. I'm leaning towards awesomest. 

Druken Hot Girls by Kanye West is the worst song ever recorded. The beat is so bad I thought Eminem produced it.

We went to Minneapolis this weekend for Rock the Bells. Here are some highlights:

• We ended up standing in the second row, and for some reason, we decided it would be a good idea to stay there all night and not move. We stood for almost 11 hours straight without sitting or going to the bathroom.
• Supernatural was the host for the event. He did some sweet freestyles making references to Alex's ODB shirt, Ron Paul, and Lake Minnetonka (Viking sex boat rofl).
• Jedi Mind Tricks were first. Unfortunately, it was just Vinnie Paz (who it don't like) and some DJ whose name wasn't Stoupe.
  
• Immortal Technique was next, and he was just as scary the third time I saw him. Also, it's funny listening to some of the stuff he says and then realizing he's on the "Guerilla Union presents Rock the Bells sponsored by Sandisk and Rockstar Energy Drink" tour.
  
• Pharaohe Monch had a live band backing him. I think the live band thing is getting played out, but this was alright. The crowd was pretty pumped for Simon Says. This was the second best set (after the Wu of course).
  
• Talib Kweli was really loud. It was hard to tell what song he was doing. The bass made my face hurt. My personal highlight was him doing Guerilla Monsoon Rap (one of my favorite songs) with Pharoahe Monch.
• Nas did a set similar to the one I saw in Milwaukee a few months ago. It was alright, nothing too special.
  
• Some fucker pissed into a cup and dumped it over the barrier. At one point, a little spray hit me in the leg. I was pretty close to killing him, but then I would've missed the Wu-Tang. I would've pounded his face barrier after the show, but we got separated during the Wu-Tang set.
• After Nas, they started setting up a band for the Wu. I didn't know what to think, but it was pretty good. The band just played along with the DJ which was cool, although probably unnecessary.
• The Wu pretty much came through and tore it down. Unfortunately, the crowd went nuts, and I had to spend a fair amount of time making sure Roz wasn't getting killed. We ended up getting pushed back a few rows, but it was alright.
• Method Man stood on top of the crowd and I helped by holding a foot.
• The bass player from System of a Down was there and he played one song with them. Whatevs.
• I caught a towel from someone in the Clan.
  
• I got hit in the head with a full bottle of water thrown by someone in the Clan.
• Cappadonna was drinking what appeared to be a bottle of Franzia wine (does it even come in bottles?). After rocking the bottle for a little bit, he decided to throw the rest on the crowd. It was gross.
  
• I smelled like a hip-hop concert (REALLY bad) and cheap wine afterwards. I'm glad I didn't get pulled over.
• Afterwards, we talked about going clubbing but instead we just started sleeping (after grabbing a bite to eat at a diner).
• We stayed at Roz's uncles house. He got me and Alex personalized, autographed photos of Lil Scrappy from a corporate gig related to his job. Lil Scrappy sucks balls, but it's still awesome to have. I can't understand what's written on mine. It says: "hold da ? down 4 me."
• We went on a bunch of streets that are name dropped in Hold Steady songs including France Ave, Lyndale, and Lake. For some reason, I was really excited about this.
• On Sunday, we went to the Nook for lunch because Raider recommended it. The place was small, but awesome. They had a bunch of awards on the wall, mostly related to their burgers. So of course, I got a Jucy Lucy. Mine had pepper jack cheese in it and it was named after Paul Molitor.
  
• On the way back, we tried to stop at the Leinies brewery, but we got lost in Chippewa Falls so we decided to skip it.

This chapter is "crazier than a fish with titties."

Chapter 13

Only one more week...

Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 13-22

I thought it was coming out next Tuesday. I can't believe I have to wait another week!

Yesterday we went to Waupaca to celebrate our freedom. We started by going to a couple of really popular bars in the area. However, it wasn't really our scene, so we decided to stop at a local dive called "The Place."

It started off looking like your typical shitty bar, except for the guy wearing an eye patch. After ordering some drinks and playing some darts, I noticed they had one of those crane machines that you can win stuffed animals out of. At first glance, it seemed normal. However, after further inspection, each stuffed animal had hardcore pr0n or a sex toy attached to it.

Obviously, we had to play. We each ended up trying a few times. Kevin came inches away from winning a nice blue dildo and a stuffed animal, but it fell out of the crane right at the end. We were all disappointed, but we went to another bar and did the 9/11 shots, so it was alright.

I set my alarm for 10:15 so I woke up in time to watch the Nathan's International July Fourth Hot Dog Eating Contest with Raider, Staci, and Bruce. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. Joey Chestnut reclaimed the mustard yellow championship belt for America. The drama around this event was incredible. It looked like it was going to come down to the last hot dog, but after the judges did their final count, Joey Chestnut ate 66 HDBs (hot dogs and buns) and Takeru Kobayashi ate 63 HDBs. The announcers claimed this was the biggest moment in American sports history and that Joey Chestnut is an American hero. 2x.

At work, we get free lunch four days a week. It's brought in by a local catering company. They usually offer an entree, a sandwich, a soup, a variety of salads, and a couple desserts. Everything is usually on the safe side, and there's always something for everyone. On Wednesday, they decided to change things up a bit, and have a completely vegetarian menu. I would call if vegan, but they had a ranch dip for the vegetables, and I'm guessing it contained dairy.

They posted a menu early Wednesday morning, and the building was immediately abuzz about the day's offering. Here's what they had:
Hummus
Pad Thai
Wild Rice with Rosemary
Vegetable and Fruit tray
Strawberry Shortcake

I had to explain to my row what hummus was. Everyone was skeptical, and it was certainly the talk of the building until the 11:30 lunch start time. A bunch of people decided that they couldn't go one meal without meat, so they went out for lunch. We went into the cafeteria around 11:45. By that time, nearly all the vegetables and fruit were gone. The hummus was good, the Pad Thai was alright, and I didn't really like the rice dish that much.

There's been 3 days of work since then and it's still pretty much the main topic of conversation. Even the impending doom of tornado's and 3.5" hail on Thursday couldn't quell the talk of the meatless lunch. I wish people would have been more open minded, but at least it's made for a funny week. Wisconsin is sort of awesome.