Blog of Ill Repute

Top 5 Laughing Hard Moment

2008-06-06T11:17:59Z

Tyler as Lil Kim during karaoke:

"When it come to sex don't test my skills
Cause my head game have you head over heels"

From Magic Stick by 50 Cent & Lil Kim

OMG

2008-05-20T03:25:56Z

NEW HOLD STEADY SINGLE!!!!!!!!
Link

In barlight, she looked alright
In daylight, she looked desperate.
That's alright I was desperate too,
I'm getting pretty sick of this interview.
Subpoenaed in Texas
Sequestered in Memphis

Also, they are in concert Monday, July 21 in Madison. The following Tuesday is going to be a long day at work.

NEW SYCAMORE SONKS!
Another link

Mouse

2008-04-29T02:50:37Z

There was a mouse on the loose at work today. It made for lots of roffles, mostly because the ladies were really frightened.

He was a true fighter. Programmers and business analysts tracked him for over 3 hours before he meet his demise. He was moving westward throughout the building in the morning. At about 9:15, he withstood a pretty decent broom shot, but he kept going. Unfortunately, he only made it 4 rows after he was discovered. RIP little buddy.

Let's count down the top 5 most talked about moments from the building I work at over the past year.

1. Vegetarian day from the catering company
2. The mouse
3. Hail storm last summer
4. Fruit fly infestation and resulting extermination
5. Day the coffee machine broke

Bubble Hockey

2008-04-08T03:17:45Z

On Saturday, we found a bar in town that has bubble hockey. I was REALLY excited when I first saw it. Then I was disapointed when the bar was really crowded and we couldn't play. However, we waited it out by doing shots of Sparks and playing darts. Once it finally opened up, I pwn3d Raider a couple times. This is going to severely hurt my quarter supply.

I'm a Dude

2008-04-05T05:27:35Z

Good Burger is the most underrated movie of all-time.

Dunk Contest

2008-02-19T03:56:53Z

I love dunking and this one takes the cake (ugh):

I Believe I Called This One

2008-02-06T03:23:53Z

Pimp C Died from Overdose

Stay off that Sizzurp kids.

Rankings

2008-01-26T06:18:19Z

MD 20/20 Orange Jubilee*: 5.0/5.0
MD 20/20 Blue Raspberry*: 2.5/5.0
Jaguar High Gravity Lager**: -2.0/5.0
Four Maxed (10% alcohol by volume energy drink) 3.5/5.0
CB4 (movie): 3.5/5.0
A Night in Compton (movie)***: Jaguar High Gravity Lager of movies

* Best when served cold
** Camo if it was made in Wisconsin and served in a smaller can
*** Best Line: It's like when Harriet Truman led the slaves out of freedom

8 Diagrams

2007-12-12T03:52:52Z

The new Wu-Tang album came out today. I'm pretty disappointed. I have to agree with Ghostface and Raekwon when they said that RZA's beats are soft. It doesn't sound like a Wu-Tang album. They only use 3 samples on the whole thing. RZA seems to be into live instrumentation now, which is cool, but it misses the grimy sounds of a dusty sample.

The best Wu-Tang related song that I heard for the first time today:

I can't believe I like a song with Akon in it.

Center of the Scene

2007-11-06T04:38:06Z

I saw the Hold Steady in Minneapolis on Thursday and I think they may have surpassed the Wu-Tang Clan as my favorite group.

They opened with "Party Pit," which seemed like an odd choice, but it made sense once I heard it. The crowd was pretty quiet for the begining of the song until he said "so we walked across that grain belt bridge, into bright new Minneapolis." At this point I had goosebumps and I knew it was going to be a great show. The played almost all of Boys and Girls in America, 3 news songs, and a sampling from the first two albums. They played Banging Camp, which they didn't play the last time I saw them, and which happens to be one of my favorite songs. Here's poorly labeled visual evidence that I found:

Here's the complete setlist:
Party Pit
Hot Soft Light
Chips Ahoy
Cattle And The Creeping Things
Ask Her For Adderall
Stuck Between Stations
Massive Nights
Magazines
Same Kooks
Banging Camp
Lord Don't Discontinue
You Can Make Him Like You
Your Little Hoodrat Friend
Stevie Nicks
Positive Jam
Multitude Of Casualties
Southtown Girls
Killer Parties

Every fan really needs to see them play in Minneapolis. It was a different atmosphere from the show in Milwaukee earlier this year. Everytime there was a Twin Cities reference (so about every 15 seconds) the crowd would go nuts. My only complaint would be that it was held in a theatre, but I think they're getting too popular in the Twin Cities for the smaller clubs.

Ask Her For Some Adderall

2007-10-29T03:13:06Z

New Hold Steady song:

4 days until the Minneapolis show.

Champion in their Eyes

2007-10-23T02:57:35Z

On Saturday, we had dinner a Maggiano's in Milwaukee. It's an italian chain known for their large pasta portions. We spent the day at Six Flags (Great America, Great Times), so I was pretty hungry by the time my Linguine and Clams came out around 9:30. The bowl was big, but I finished the whole thing. After finishing it, the waitress came out, stood by the table, and looked at me in silence for a few seconds. Then she asked "Did you eat all that?" After replying that I did, she gave me a high five and said that I'm the first person that she's seen this year to finish a full order of pasta. I've been debating whether this have been one of the saddest or awesomest moments of my life. I'm leaning towards awesomest.

Drunken Hot Girls

2007-09-13T02:48:37Z

Druken Hot Girls by Kanye West is the worst song ever recorded. The beat is so bad I thought Eminem produced it.

Rock the Bells

2007-08-28T02:36:21Z

We went to Minneapolis this weekend for Rock the Bells. Here are some highlights:

We ended up standing in the second row, and for some reason, we decided it would be a good idea to stay there all night and not move. We stood for almost 11 hours straight without sitting or going to the bathroom.
Supernatural was the host for the event. He did some sweet freestyles making references to Alex's ODB shirt, Ron Paul, and Lake Minnetonka (Viking sex boat rofl).
Jedi Mind Tricks were first. Unfortunately, it was just Vinnie Paz (who it don't like) and some DJ whose name wasn't Stoupe.
Immortal Technique was next, and he was just as scary the third time I saw him. Also, it's funny listening to some of the stuff he says and then realizing he's on the "Guerilla Union presents Rock the Bells sponsored by Sandisk and Rockstar Energy Drink" tour.
Pharaohe Monch had a live band backing him. I think the live band thing is getting played out, but this was alright. The crowd was pretty pumped for Simon Says. This was the second best set (after the Wu of course).
Talib Kweli was really loud. It was hard to tell what song he was doing. The bass made my face hurt. My personal highlight was him doing Guerilla Monsoon Rap (one of my favorite songs) with Pharoahe Monch.
Nas did a set similar to the one I saw in Milwaukee a few months ago. It was alright, nothing too special.
Some fucker pissed into a cup and dumped it over the barrier. At one point, a little spray hit me in the leg. I was pretty close to killing him, but then I would've missed the Wu-Tang. I would've pounded his face barrier after the show, but we got separated during the Wu-Tang set.
After Nas, they started setting up a band for the Wu. I didn't know what to think, but it was pretty good. The band just played along with the DJ which was cool, although probably unnecessary.
The Wu pretty much came through and tore it down. Unfortunately, the crowd went nuts, and I had to spend a fair amount of time making sure Roz wasn't getting killed. We ended up getting pushed back a few rows, but it was alright.
Method Man stood on top of the crowd and I helped by holding a foot.
The bass player from System of a Down was there and he played one song with them. Whatevs.
I caught a towel from someone in the Clan.
I got hit in the head with a full bottle of water thrown by someone in the Clan.
Cappadonna was drinking what appeared to be a bottle of Franzia wine (does it even come in bottles?). After rocking the bottle for a little bit, he decided to throw the rest on the crowd. It was gross.
I smelled like a hip-hop concert (REALLY bad) and cheap wine afterwards. I'm glad I didn't get pulled over.
Afterwards, we talked about going clubbing but instead we just started sleeping (after grabbing a bite to eat at a diner).
We stayed at Roz's uncles house. He got me and Alex personalized, autographed photos of Lil Scrappy from a corporate gig related to his job. Lil Scrappy sucks balls, but it's still awesome to have. I can't understand what's written on mine. It says: "hold da ? down 4 me."
We went on a bunch of streets that are name dropped in Hold Steady songs including France Ave, Lyndale, and Lake. For some reason, I was really excited about this.
On Sunday, we went to the Nook for lunch because Raider recommended it. The place was small, but awesome. They had a bunch of awards on the wall, mostly related to their burgers. So of course, I got a Jucy Lucy. Mine had pepper jack cheese in it and it was named after Paul Molitor.
On the way back, we tried to stop at the Leinies brewery, but we got lost in Chippewa Falls so we decided to skip it.

Chapter 13!!!

2007-08-13T23:14:45Z

This chapter is "crazier than a fish with titties."

Chapter 13

Only one more week...

8/21: Always Remember

2007-08-09T02:40:42Z

Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 13-22

I thought it was coming out next Tuesday. I can't believe I have to wait another week!

Pr0n Crane

2007-07-06T02:46:48Z

Yesterday we went to Waupaca to celebrate our freedom. We started by going to a couple of really popular bars in the area. However, it wasn't really our scene, so we decided to stop at a local dive called "The Place."

It started off looking like your typical shitty bar, except for the guy wearing an eye patch. After ordering some drinks and playing some darts, I noticed they had one of those crane machines that you can win stuffed animals out of. At first glance, it seemed normal. However, after further inspection, each stuffed animal had hardcore pr0n or a sex toy attached to it.

Obviously, we had to play. We each ended up trying a few times. Kevin came inches away from winning a nice blue dildo and a stuffed animal, but it fell out of the crane right at the end. We were all disappointed, but we went to another bar and did the 9/11 shots, so it was alright.

Never Forget

2007-07-04T20:40:09Z

I set my alarm for 10:15 so I woke up in time to watch the Nathan's International July Fourth Hot Dog Eating Contest with Raider, Staci, and Bruce. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. Joey Chestnut reclaimed the mustard yellow championship belt for America. The drama around this event was incredible. It looked like it was going to come down to the last hot dog, but after the judges did their final count, Joey Chestnut ate 66 HDBs (hot dogs and buns) and Takeru Kobayashi ate 63 HDBs. The announcers claimed this was the biggest moment in American sports history and that Joey Chestnut is an American hero. 2x.

Make It Rain

2007-06-20T03:30:18Z

Meatless Lunch

2007-06-12T03:30:48Z

At work, we get free lunch four days a week. It's brought in by a local catering company. They usually offer an entree, a sandwich, a soup, a variety of salads, and a couple desserts. Everything is usually on the safe side, and there's always something for everyone. On Wednesday, they decided to change things up a bit, and have a completely vegetarian menu. I would call if vegan, but they had a ranch dip for the vegetables, and I'm guessing it contained dairy.

They posted a menu early Wednesday morning, and the building was immediately abuzz about the day's offering. Here's what they had:
Hummus
Pad Thai
Wild Rice with Rosemary
Vegetable and Fruit tray
Strawberry Shortcake

I had to explain to my row what hummus was. Everyone was skeptical, and it was certainly the talk of the building until the 11:30 lunch start time. A bunch of people decided that they couldn't go one meal without meat, so they went out for lunch. We went into the cafeteria around 11:45. By that time, nearly all the vegetables and fruit were gone. The hummus was good, the Pad Thai was alright, and I didn't really like the rice dish that much.

There's been 3 days of work since then and it's still pretty much the main topic of conversation. Even the impending doom of tornado's and 3.5" hail on Thursday couldn't quell the talk of the meatless lunch. I wish people would have been more open minded, but at least it's made for a funny week. Wisconsin is sort of awesome.

Birfday

2007-05-30T03:24:34Z

My birthday was on Sunday. Good times were had. We went to a graduation party for Roz's cousin in the afternoon. Wisconsin graduation parties are ridiculous. They had a huge tent, a refrigerated trailer that held kegs, and the biggest bowl of cheese curds that you could possibly imagine. In the evening, we met up with Kevin and Raider and went to a bar in Point that lets you drink all you want for free on your birthday (rail drinks and tap beers). On our way there, we saw a motorcycle that was modified to look like a jet parked at the Kwik Trip. We waited in the parking lot until the owner came out of the store and fired it up. The pilot looked badass with a cigarette in his mouth when he pulled the cockpit door shut. At the bar, I stuck with whiskey based drinks. I didn't get as wasted as I thought I would, but I don't think they make them too strong when they're free. They had an internets jukebox, which I never heard of before. It allowed you to pay a little extra to download songs that weren't stored on the jukebox. We played some Dr. Dre, Hold Steady, and Wu-Tang. Afterwards, we went to Perkins. It kinda felt like Houghton.

Notable Gifts
1. Wii - From the best girlfriend ever
2. Cooking Mama for the Wii - From the best girlfriends parents ever
3. Detroit Shirt featuring a bunch of dollar signs on the front - From Andrew and K-Dawg

The Wii is awesome. Cooking Mama is ridiculously fun. I love how they portray American food.

I'm really looking forward to this weekend...seriously

2007-04-26T03:30:32Z

Man, I can't wait for this weekend. It's been over 2 months since I've been to Houghton, which I believe is my longest period of time without being there. Roz is driving up to Point on Thursday night, and we're leaving for Houghton sometime Friday morning. I'm going to stop in Knowlton and pick up fresh cheese curds on the way. If you haven't had them fresh, warm cheese curds, you're missing out.

I'm hoping to continue the new tradition of the reverse senior walk on Friday. Probably start at the Dog or the Library, and end up somewhere in Hancock. Too bad the Crystal Room is closed. It was awesome when we went there last year. Holla at me around 3:00 or 4:00 if you want to go. Will Mike Smith show up? It will be a surprise for everyone.

I believe the WMTU BBQ is Saturday. Alumi are welcome, right? I'm bring Tilt 8.0 and BJ's Market Whiskey (possibly moonshine) to Tyler's senior barrel. I'm imagining this being the most epic party ever. How long before shirts come off?

Nasir Escobar

2007-04-24T02:50:12Z

Saturday night we went to the Nas concert in Milwaukee. I knew about the show for a couple months, but I hadn't decided if I wanted to go until the last minute. I was questioning it because tickets were $30 and I had no desire to see any of the openers. However, on my drive to Milwaukee I listened to Illmatic and Stillmatic, and decided I should go. Besides, how often do I get to see a top 5 of all-time rapper?

Having been to more than a few hip-hop shows, I know that they never start on time. Additionally, there were anywhere from 10-15 horrible rappers listed as openers for the show according to the internets. So, I figured if we showed up between 9:30 and 10:00, we would be there plenty early, and we wouldn't have to watch all of the opening acts. However, after purchasing tickets and walking in, I heard somebody mention that Nas already did 4 or 5 songs. Lame.

The portion of the show that we did see was good, but not great. I missed or he didn't do a handful of songs that I really wanted to hear. Another annoying part was that sometimes he didn't do entire songs. For example, he only did 15 seconds worth of the Stillmatic intro, which is one of my favorite songs. On the plus side, he didn't have an annoying hype man on stage, the crowd was really into it, and he did a lot of awesome songs that I didn't think he would do. Also, he dissed 50 Cent and the Diplomats, calling them soft. The crowd cheered him on, which made me thankful for not wearing my Diplomats t-shirt.

Other things from this past weekend:

Someone tried to sell us drugs outside of a closed KFC while we were walking from the car to the venue.
We went to a yard sale on Saturday afternoon. I was browsing through their selection of records, when the guy in charge comes over to talk to me. First, he makes small talk about Johnny Cash, then he mentions that this yard sale is for his church, then he asks me if I go to church, then he offers me some information material, then I say "no thanks," and finally, I purchase a good copy of Purple Rain and a Herb Alpert record for 50 cents each.
We saw Black Snake Moan at the budget theater. I went for the Samuel L Jackson, but I stayed for the JT and chained up nymphomaniac.
We went to the Brewer game on Sunday. Our seats were behind the Astros bullpen in the outfield, which was pretty interesting. The only homerun of the game landed fairly close to us. When we were walking into the stadium, I had the opportunity to get my picture taken with the racing sausages, but I passed it up. WORST DECISION I EVER MADE.

Downtown Milwaukee

2007-04-05T01:36:21Z

We ventured into downtown Milwaukee two times in March and I took some pictures. On March 18, we went to an AHL game between the Milwaukee Admirals and Grand Rapids Griffins. It was really good times. Everything that never happens to me at sporting events happened: We were on the jumbotron, the blimp dropped coupons in front of us, and we both got t-shirts thrown to us. The next week, we went to the Pistons and Bucks game. Our seats were $10 each, and pretty bad. It was my first NBA experience, so I didn't want to pay a ton if I wasn't going to enjoy it. It was a fun, so I'd probably get some better seats next time.

Milwaukee won in overtime, 3-2.

Wisconsin Fact: Every sporting event will have racing food/beverage products. I think I may even like skating tubs of cheese more than the running sausages at Brewer games. By the way, the tub of beer cheese won. I picked Port Wine.

San Diego Chicken

Small boat on a crane

There are a lot of awesome looking factories in downtown Milwaukee, like Usinger's and Pabst's.

It was awesome when I wore shorts last month.

Pistons vs. Bucks. Our seats look pretty good, right?

View from the third row from the top of the Bradley Center.

I was pretty pissed that Rasheed Wallace and Rip Hamilton didn't play.

It didn't matter though, because Detroit won in a blowout.

Fruity Beers: Round 2

2007-03-23T03:19:17Z

In the past couple months, I've tried 7 new beers, so I thought I'd rank them. I'll break them into two categories, ones I liked and ones I didn't like. Honestly, 4 through 7 all tasted pretty much the same to me, so the rankings aren't really that important.

Didn't like:
7. Great Divide Brewing Company Wild Raspberry Ale
6. Abita Brewing Company Purple Haze - I thought this would be awesome, like the Cam'ron album, Purple Haze, but it tasted like beer.
5. Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat
4. Pete's Brewing Company Strawberry Blonde

Actually liked:
3. New Glarus Spotted Cow - Not really advertised as a fruit beer, but it was surprisingly drinkable. I made Roz order one at a sports bar in Point when we went to watch a Tech hockey game. It didn't have the usual beer aftertaste that I hate, so that's probably why I liked it. Is this a real beer? Does it have any cred? Can I now say there's a beer that I like?
2. New Glarus Raspberry Tart - I doubt this can even be classified as beer, but it's awesome. It comes in a small wine bottle sealed with wax, and it tastes more like fruit punch than beer. Official description: "The voluminous raspberry bouquet will greet you long before your lips touch your glass. Serve this Wisconsin framboise very cold in a champagne flute. Then hold your glass to a light and enjoy the jewel-like sparkle of a very special ale. Oregon proudly shares their harvest of mouth-watering berries, which we ferment spontaneously in large oak vats. Then we employ Wisconsin farmed wheat and year old Hallertau hops to round out this extravaganza of flavor."
1. New Glarus Wisconsin Belgian Red - See above, but just slightly better. Seriously, there's a pound of cherries used in every bottle. Official description: "You hold the marriage of wine and beer. Belgian Red is a tapestry of flavor. This beer is brewed with whole Montmorency Cherries, Wisconsin farmed wheat and Belgian roasted barleys, lagered in oak tanks and balanced by Hallertau hops we aged in our brewery one full year. Over a pound of Door County Cherries in every bottle makes this beer uniquely “Wisconsin.” So unique, in fact, that we applied for a patent. Expect this beer to be ruby red, with a medium body that is highly carbonated and intense with cherry flavor and bouquet. Serve your friends Belgian Red in a brandy snifter or champagne flute and toast life with beer from the land of Wisconsin."

WINNER

So I noticed a pattern in the ones I liked, they're all brewed by New Glarus. I should probably try some of their other stuff to see if I like it. So, all my favorite beers come from Wiscompton. Everyone else needs to step their fruity beer game up.